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英语天堂-第36章

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department; and all thereto pertaining。
The thing took acomordingly。 No poor; simple; virtuous body was ever cajoled by the attentions of an electioneering politician with more ease than Aunt Chloe was won over by Master Sam’s suavities; and if he had been the prodigal son himself; he could not have been overwhelmed with more maternal bountifulness; and he soon found himself seated; happy and glorious; over a large tin pan; containing a sort of olla podrida of all that had appeared on the table for two or three days past。 Savory morsels of ham; golden blocks of corn…cake; fragments of pie of every conceivable mathematical figure; chicken wings; gizzards; and drumsticks; all appeared in picturesque confusion; and Sam; as monarch of all he surveyed; sat with his palm…leaf cocked rejoicingly to one side; and patronizing Andy at his right hand。
The kitchen was full of all his compeers; who had hurried and crowded in; from the various cabins; to hear the termination of the day’s exploits。 Now was Sam’s hour of glory。 The story of the day was rehearsed; with all kinds of ornament and varnishing which might be necessary to heighten its effect; for Sam; like some of our fashionable dilettanti; never allowed a story to lose any of its gilding by passing through his hands。 Roars of laughter attended the narration; and were taken up and prolonged by all the smaller fry; who were lying; in any quantity; about on the floor; or perched in every corner。 In the height of the uproar and laughter; Sam; however; preserved an immovable gravity; only from time to time rolling his eyes up; and giving his auditors divers inexpressibly droll glances; without departing from the sententious elevation of his oratory。
“Yer see; fellow…countrymen;” said Sam; elevating a turkey’s leg; with energy; “yer see; now what dis yer chile ’s up ter; for fendin’ yer all;—yes; all on yer。 For him as tries to get one o’ our people is as good as tryin’ to get all; yer see the principle ’s de same;—dat ar’s clar。 And any one o’ these yer drivers that comes smelling round arter any our people; why; he’s got me in his way; I’m the feller he’s got to set in with;—I’m the feller for yer all to come to; bredren;—I’ll stand up for yer rights;—I’ll fend ’em to the last breath!”
“Why; but Sam; yer telled me; only this mornin’; that you’d help this yer Mas’r to cotch Lizy; seems to me yer talk don’t hang together;” said Andy。
“I tell you now; Andy;” said Sam; with awful superiority; “don’t yer be a talkin’ ’bout what yer don’t know nothin’ on; boys like you; Andy; means well; but they can’t be spected to collusitate the great principles of action。”
Andy looked rebuked; particularly by the hard word collusitate; which most of the youngerly members of the company seemed to consider as a settler in the case; while Sam proceeded。
“Dat ar was conscience; Andy; when I thought of gwine arter Lizy; I railly spected Mas’r was sot dat way。 When I found Missis was sot the contrar; dat ar was conscience more yet;—cause fellers allers gets more by stickin’ to Missis’ side;—so yer see I ’s persistent either way; and sticks up to conscience; and holds on to principles。 Yes; principles;” said Sam; giving an enthusiastic toss to a chicken’s neck;—“what’s principles good for; if we isn’t persistent; I wanter know? Thar; Andy; you may have dat ar bone;—tan’t picked quite clean。”
Sam’s audience hanging on his words with open mouth; he could not but proceed。
“Dis yer matter ’bout persistence; feller…niggers;” said Sam; with the air of one entering into an abstruse subject; “dis yer ’sistency ’s a thing what an’t seed into very clar; by most anybody。 Now; yer see; when a feller stands up for a thing one day and night; de contrar de next; folks ses (and nat’rally enough dey ses); why he an’t persistent;—hand me dat ar bit o’ corn…cake; Andy。 But let’s look inter it。 I hope the gen’lmen and der fair sex will scuse my usin’ an or’nary sort o’ ’parison。 Here! I’m a trying to get top o’ der hay。 Wal; I puts up my larder dis yer side; ’tan’t no go;—den; cause I don’t try dere no more; but puts my larder right de contrar side; an’t I persistent? I’m persistent in wantin’ to get up which ary side my larder is; don’t you see; all on yer?”
“It’s the only thing ye ever was persistent in; Lord knows!” muttered Aunt Chloe; who was getting rather restive; the merriment of the evening being to her somewhat after the Scripture comparison;—like “vinegar upon nitre。”
“Yes; indeed!” said Sam; rising; full of supper and glory; for a closing effort。 “Yes; my feller…citizens and ladies of de other sex in general; I has principles;—I’m proud to ’oon ’em;—they ’s perquisite to dese yer times; and ter all times。 I has principles; and I sticks to ’em like forty;—jest anything that I thinks is principle; I goes in to ’t;—I wouldn’t mind if dey burnt me ’live;—I’d walk right up to de stake; I would; and say; here I comes to shed my last blood fur my principles; fur my country; fur de gen’l interests of society。”
“Well;” said Aunt Chloe; “one o’ yer principles will have to be to get to bed some time tonight; and not be a keepin’ everybody up till mornin’; now; every one of you young uns that don’t want to be cracked; had better be scase; mighty sudden。”
“Niggers! all on yer;” said Sam; waving his palm…leaf with benignity; “I give yer my blessin’; go to bed now; and be good boys。”
And; with this pathetic benediction; the assembly dispersed。
Chapter 9
In Which It Appears That a Senator Is But a Man
The light of the cheerful fire shone on the rug and carpet of a cosey parlor; and glittered on the sides of the tea…cups and well…brightened tea…pot; as Senator Bird was drawing off his boots; preparatory to inserting his feet in a pair of new handsome slippers; which his wife had been working for him while away on his senatorial tour。 Mrs。 Bird; looking the very picture of delight; was superintending the arrangements of the table; ever and anon mingling admonitory remarks to a number of frolicsome juveniles; who were effervescing in all those modes of untold gambol and mischief that have astonished mothers ever since the flood。
“Tom; let the door…knob alone;—there’s a man! Mary! Mary! don’t pull the cat’s tail;—poor pussy! Jim; you mustn’t climb on that table;—no; no!—You don’t know; my dear; what a surprise it is to us all; to see you here tonight!” said she; at last; when she found a space to say something to her husband。
“Yes; yes; I thought I’d just make a run down; spend the night; and have a little comfort at home。 I’m tired to death; and my head aches!”
Mrs。 Bird cast a glance at a camphor…bottle; which stood in the half…open closet; and appeared to meditate an approach to it; but her husband interposed。
“No; no; Mary; no doctoring! a cup of your good hot tea; and some of our good home living; is what I want。 It’s a tiresome business; this legislating!”
And the senator smiled; as if he rather liked the idea of considering himself a sacrifice to his country。
“Well;” said his wife; after the business of the tea…table was getting rather slack; “and what have they been doing in the Senate?”
Now; it was a very unusual thing for gentle little Mrs。 Bird ever to trouble her head with what was going on in the house of the state; very wisely considering that she had enough to do to mind her own。 Mr。 Bird; therefore; opened his eyes in surprise; and said;
“Not very much of importance。”
“Well; but is it true that they have been passing a law forbidding people to give meat and drink to those poor colored folks that come along? I heard they were talking of some such law; but I didn’t think any Christian legislature would pass it!”
“Why; Mary; you are getting to be a politician; all at once。”
“No; nonsense! I wouldn’t give a fip for all your politics; generally; but I think this is something downright cruel and unchristian。 I hope; my dear; no such law has been passed。”
“There has been a law passed forbidding people to help off the slaves that come over from Kentucky; my dear; so much of that thing has been done by these reckless Abolitionists; that our brethren in Kentucky are very strongly excited; and it seems necessary; and no more than Christian and kind; that something should be done by our state to quiet the excitement。”
“And what is the law? It don’t forbid us to shelter those poor creatures a night; does it; and to give ’em something comfortable to eat; and a few old clothes; and send them quietly about their business?”
“Why; yes; my dear; that would be aiding and abetting; you know。”
Mrs。 Bird was a timid; blushing little woman; of about four feet in height; and with mild blue eyes; and a peach…blow complexion; and the gentlest; sweetest voice in the world;—as for courage; a moderate…sized cock…turkey had been known to put her to rout at the very first gobble; and a stout house…dog; of moderate capacity; would bring her into subjection merely by a show of his teeth。 Her husband and children were her entire world; and in these she ruled more by entreaty and persuasion than by command or argument。 There was only one thing that was capable of arousing her; and that provocation came in on the side of her unusually gentle and sympathetic nature;—anything in the shape of cruelty would throw her into a passion; which was the more alarming and inexplicable in proportion to the general softness of her nature。 Generally the most indulgent and easy to be entreated of all mothers; still her boys had a very reverent remembrance of a most vehement chastisement she once bestowed on them; because she found them leagued with several graceless boys of the neighborhood; stoning a defenceless kitten。
“I’ll tell you what;” Master Bill used to say; “I was scared that time。 Mother came at me so that I thought she was crazy; and I was whipped and tumbled off to bed; without any supper; before I could get over wondering what had come about; and; after that; I heard mother crying outside the door; which made me feel worse than all the rest。 I’ll tell you what;” he’d say; “we boys never stoned another kitten!”
On the present ocomasion; Mrs。 Bird rose quickly; with very red cheeks; which quite improved her general appearance; and walked up to her husband; with quite a resolute air; and said; in a determined tone;
“Now; John; I want to know if you think such a law as that is right and Christian?”
“You won’t shoot me; now; Mary; if I say I do!”
“I never could have thought it of you; John; you didn’t vote for it?”
“Even so; my fair politician。”
“You ought to be ashamed; John! Poor; homeless; houseless creatures! It’s a shameful; wicked; abominable law; and I’ll break it; for one; the first time I get a chance; and I hope I shall have a chance; I do! Things have got to a pretty pass; if a woman can’t give a warm supper and a bed to poor; starving creatures; just because they are slaves; and have been abused and oppressed all their lives; poor things!”
“But; Mary; just listen to me。 Your feelings are all quite right; dear; and interesting; and I love you for them; but; then; dear; we mustn’t suffer our feelings to run away with our judgment; you must consider it’s a matter of private feeling;—there are great public interests involved;—there is such a state of public agitation rising; that we must put aside our private feelings。”
“Now; John; I don’t know anything about politics; but I can read my Bible; and there I see that I must feed the hungry; clothe the naked; and comfort the desolate; and that Bible I mean to follow。”
“But in cases where your doing so would involve a great public evil—”
“Obeying God never brings on public evils。 I know it can’t。 It’s always safest; all round; to do as He bids us。
“Now; listen to me; Mary; and I can state to you a very clear argument; to show—”
“O; nonsense; John! you can talk all night; but you wouldn’t do it。 I put it to you; John;—would you now turn away a poor; shivering; hungry creature from your door; because he was a runaway? Would you; now?”
Now; if the truth must be told; our senator had the misfortune to be a man who had a particularly humane and acomessible nature; and turning away anybody that was in trouble never had been his forte; and what was worse for him in this particular pinch of the argument was; that his wife knew it; and; of course was making an assault on rather an indefensible point。 So he had recourse to the usual means of gaining time for such cases made and provided; he said “ahem;” and coughed several times; took out his pocket…handkerchief; and began to wipe his glasses。 Mrs。 Bird; seeing the defenceless condition of the enemy’s territory; had no more conscience than to push her advantage。
“I should like to see you doing that; John—I really should! Turning a woman out of doors in a snowstorm; for instance; or may be you’d take her up and put her in jail; wouldn’t you? You would make a great hand at that!”
“Of course; it would be a very painful duty;” began Mr。 Bird; in a moderate tone。
“Duty; John! don’t use that word! You know it isn’t a duty—it can’t be a duty! If folks want to keep their slaves from running away; let ’em treat ’em well;—that’s my 
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