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屋顶间的哲学家_梭维斯特-第13章

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    atthesightofthisancientwreckfromourpatrioticwars;thegreaternumbershaketheirheadsinpity;andiseemtohearasighoranimprecation。

    〃seetheworthofglory!〃saysaportlymerchant;turningawayhiseyesinhorror。

    〃whatadeplorableuseofhumanlife!〃rejoinsayoungmanwhocarriesavolumeofphilosophyunderhisarm。

    〃thetrooperwouldbetternothavelefthisplow;〃addsacountryman;withacunningair。

    〃pooroldman!〃murmursawoman;almostcrying。

    theveteranhasheard;andheknitshisbrow;foritseemstohimthathisguidehasgrownthoughtful。thelatter;attractedbywhathehearsaroundhim;hardlyanswerstheoldmansquestions;andhiseyes;vaguelylostinspace;seemtobeseekingthereforthesolutionofsomeproblem。

    iseemtoseeatwitchinginthegraymoustachesoftheveteran;hestopsabruptly;and;holdingbackhisguidewithhisremainingarm:

    〃theyallpityme;〃sayshe;〃becausetheydonotunderstandit;butifiweretoanswerthem鈥斺�敗�

    〃whatwouldyousaytothem;father?〃askstheyoungman;withcuriosity。

    〃ishouldsayfirsttothewomanwhoweepswhenshelooksatme;tokeephertearsforothermisfortunes;foreachofmywoundscallstomindsomestruggleformycolors。thereisroomfordoubtinghowsomemenhavedonetheirduty;withmeitisvisible。icarrytheaccountofmyservices;writtenwiththeenemyssteelandlead;onmyself;topitymeforhavingdonemydutyistosupposeiwouldbetterhavebeenfalsetoit。〃

    〃andwhatwouldyousaytothecountryman;father?〃

    〃ishouldtellhimthat;todrivetheplowinpeace;wemustfirstsecurethecountryitself;andthat;aslongasthereareforeignersreadytoeatourharvest;theremustbearmstodefendit。〃

    〃buttheyoungstudent;too;shookhisheadwhenhelamentedsuchauseoflife。〃

    〃becausehedoesnotknowwhatself…sacrificeandsufferingcanteach。

    thebooksthathestudieswehaveputinpractice;thoughweneverreadthem:theprinciplesheapplaudswehavedefendedwithpowderandbayonet。〃

    〃andatthepriceofyourlimbsandyourblood。themerchantsaid;whenhesawyourmaimedbody;seetheworthofglory!〃

    〃donotbelievehim;myson:thetruegloryisthebreadofthesoul;itisthiswhichnourishesself…sacrifice;patience;andcourage。themasterofallhasbestoweditasatiethemorebetweenmen。whenwedesiretobedistinguishedbyourbrethren;dowenotthusproveouresteemandoursympathyforthem?thelongingforadmirationisbutonesideoflove。no;no;thetrueglorycanneverbetoodearlypaidfor!

    thatwhichweshoulddeplore;child;isnottheinfirmitieswhichproveagenerousself…sacrifice;butthosewhichourvicesorourimprudencehavecalledforth。ah!ificouldspeakaloudtothosewho;whenpassing;castlooksofpityuponme;ishouldsaytotheyoungmanwhoseexcesseshavedimmedhissightbeforeheisold;whathaveyoudonewithyoureyes?totheslothfulman;whowithdifficultydragsalonghisenervatedmassofflesh;whathaveyoudonewithyourfeet?totheoldman;whoispunishedforhisintemperancebythegout;whathaveyoudonewithyourhands?toall;whathaveyoudonewiththedaysgodgrantedyou;withthefacultiesyoushouldhaveemployedforthegoodofyourbrethren?ifyoucannotanswer;bestownomoreofyourpityupontheoldsoldiermaimedinhiscountryscause;forhe鈥斺�攈eatleast鈥斺�攃anshowhisscarswithoutshame。〃

    october16th鈥斺�攖helittleengravinghasmademeprehendbetterthemeritsoffatherchaufour;andithereforeesteemhimallthemore。

    hehasjustnowleftmyattic。therenolongerpassesasingledaywithouthisingtoworkbymyfire;ormygoingtositandtalkbyhisboard。

    theoldartillerymanhasseenmuch;andlikestotellofit。fortwentyyearshewasanarmedtravellerthroughouteurope;andhefoughtwithouthatred;forhewaspossessedbyasinglethought鈥斺�攖hehonorofthenationalflag!itmighthavebeenhissuperstition;ifyouwill;butitwas;atthesametime;hissafeguard。

    thewordfrance;whichwasthenresoundingsogloriouslythroughtheworld;servedasatalismantohimagainstallsortsoftemptation。tohavetosupportagreatnamemayseemaburdentovulgarminds;butitisanencouragementtovigorousones。

    〃i;too;havehadmanymoments;〃saidhetometheotherday;〃whenihavebeentemptedtomakefriendswiththedevil。warisnotpreciselytheschoolforruralvirtues。bydintofburning;destroying;andkilling;yougrowalittletoughasregardsyourfeelings;and;whenthebayonethasmadeyouking;thenotionsofanautocrateintoyourheadalittlestrongly。butatthesemomentsicalledtomindthatcountrywhichthelieutenantspokeoftome;andiwhisperedtomyselfthewell…knownphrase;toujoursfrancais!ithasbeenlaughedatsince。peoplewhowouldmakeajokeofthedeathoftheirmotherhaveturneditintoridicule;asifthenameofourcountrywasnotalsoanobleandabindingthing。formypart;ishallneverforgetfromhowmanyfolliesthetitleoffrenchmanhaskeptme。when;overewithfatigue;ihavefoundmyselfintherearofthecolors;andwhenthemusketrywasrattlinginthefrontranks;manyatimeiheardavoice;whichwhisperedinmyear;leavetheotherstofight;andfortodaytakecareofyourownhide!butthen;thatwordfrancais!murmuredwithinme;andipressedforwardtohelpmyrades。atothertimes;when;irritatedbyhunger;cold;andwounds;ihavearrivedatthehovelofsomemeinherr;ihavebeenseizedbyanitchingtobreakthemastersback;andtoburnhishut;butiwhisperedtomyself;francais!andthisnamewouldnotrhymewitheitherincendiaryormurderer。ihave;inthisway;passedthroughkingdomsfromeasttowest;andfromnorthtosouth;alwaysdeterminednottobringdisgraceuponmycountrysflag。thelieutenant;yousee;hadtaughtmeamagicword鈥斺�攎ycountry!notonlymustwedefendit;butwemustalsomakeitgreatandloved。〃

    october17th鈥斺�攖o…dayihavepaidmyneighboralongvisit。achanceexpressionledthewaytohistellingmemoreofhimselfthanhehadyetdone。

    iaskedhimwhetherbothhislimbshadbeenlostinthesamebattle。

    〃no;no!〃repliedhe;〃thecannononlytookmyleg;itwastheclamartquarriesthatmyarmwenttofeed。〃

    andwheniaskedhimfortheparticulars鈥斺��

    〃thatsaseasyastosaygood…morning;〃continuedhe。〃afterthegreatbreak…upatwaterloo;istayedthreemonthsinthecamphospitaltogivemywoodenlegtimetogrow。assoonasiwasabletohobblealittle;itookleaveofheadquarters;andtooktheroadtoparis;whereihopedtofindsomerelativeorfriend;butno鈥斺�攁llweregone;orunderground。

    ishouldhavefoundmyselflessstrangeatvienna;madrid;orberlin。

    andalthoughihadalegthelesstoprovidefor;iwasnonethebetteroff;myappetitehadeback;andmylastsousweretakingflight。

    〃ihadindeedmetmyoldcolonel;whorecollectedthatihadhelpedhimoutoftheskirmishatmontereaubygivinghimmyhorse;andhehadofferedmebedandboardathishouse。iknewthattheyearbeforehehadmarriedacastleandnofewfarms;sothatimightbeepermanentcoat…brushertoamillionaire;whichwasnotwithoutitstemptations。

    itremainedtoseeifihadnotanythingbettertodo。oneeveningisetmyselftoreflectuponit。

    〃letussee;chaufour;saiditomyself;thequestionistoactlikeaman。thecolonelsplacesuitsyou;butcannotyoudoanythingbetter?

    yourbodyisstillingoodcondition;andyourarmsstrong;doyounotoweallyourstrengthtoyourcountry;asyourvincennesunclesaid?whynotleavesomeoldsoldier;morecutupthanyouare;togethishospitalatthecolonels?e;trooper;youarestillfitforanotherstoutchargeortwo!youmustnotlayupbeforeyourtime。

    〃whereuponiwenttothankthecolonel;andtooffermyservicestoanoldartilleryman;whohadgonebacktohishomeatclamart;andwhohadtakenupthequarrymanspickagain。

    〃forthefirstfewmonthsiplayedtheconscriptspart鈥斺�攖hatistosay;therewasmorestirthanwork;butwithagoodwillonegetsthebetterofstones;asofeverythingelse。ididnotbee;sotospeak;theleaderofacolumn;butibroughtuptherankamongthegoodworkmen;andiatemybreadwithagoodappetite;seeingihadearneditwithagoodwill。forevenunderground;yousee;istillkeptmypride。thethoughtthatiwasworkingtodomypartinchangingrocksintohousespleasedmyheart。isaidtomyself;courage;chaufour;myoldboy;youarehelpingtobeautifyyourcountry。andthatkeptupmyspirit。

    〃unfortunately;someofmypanionswererathertoosensibletothecharmsofthebrandy…bottle;somuchso;thatonedayoneofthem;whocouldhardlydistinguishhisrighthandfromhisleft;thoughtpropertostrikealightclosetoachargedmine。themineexplodedsuddenly;andsentashowerofstonegrapeamongus;whichkilledthreemen;andcarriedawaythearmofwhichihavenowonlythesleeve。〃

    〃soyouwereagainwithoutmeansofliving?〃saiditotheoldsoldier。

    〃thatistosay;ihadtochangethem;〃repliedhe;quietly。〃thedifficultywastofindonewhichwoulddowithfivefingersinsteadoften;ifoundit;however。〃

    〃howwasthat?〃

    〃amongtheparisstreet…sweepers。〃

    〃what!youhavebeenone鈥斺�敗�

    〃ofthepioneersofthehealthforceforawhile;neighbor;andthatwasnotmyworsttimeeither。thecorpsofsweepersisnotsolowasitisdirty;icantellyou!thereareoldactressesinitwhocouldneverlearntosavetheirmoney;andruinedmerchantsfromtheexchange;weevenhadaprofessorofclassics;whoforalittledrinkwouldrecitelatintoyou;orgreektragedies;asyouchose。theycouldnothavepetedforthemonthyonprize;butweexcusedfaultsonaccountofpoverty;andcheeredourpovertybyourgood…humorandjokes。iwasasraggedandascheerfulastherest;whiletryingtobesomethingbetter。

    eveninthemireofthegutteripreservedmyfaiththatnothingisdishonorablewhichisusefultoourcountry。

    〃chaufour;saiditomyselfwithasmile;afterthesword;thehammer;afterthehammer;thebroom;youaregoingdownstairs;myoldboy;butyouarestillservingyourcountry。〃

    〃however;youendedbyleavingyournewprofession?saidi。〃

    〃areformwasrequired;neighbor。thestreet…sweepersseldomhavetheirfeetdry;andthedampatlastmadethewoundsinmygoodlegopenagain。

    icouldnolongerfollowtheregiment;anditwasnecessarytolaydownmyarms。itisnowtwomonthssinceileftoffworkinginthesanitarydepartmentofparis。

    〃atthefirstmomentiwasdaunted。ofmyfourlimbs;ihadnowonlymyrighthand;andeventhathadlostitsstrength;soitwasnecessarytofindsomegentlemanlyoccupationforit。aftertryingalittleofeverything;ifelluponcard…boxmaking;andhereiamatcasesforthelaceandbuttonsofthenationalguard;itisworkoflittleprofit;butitiswithinthecapacityofall。bygettingupatfourandworkingtilleight;iearnsixty…fivecentimes;mylodgingandbowlofsouptakefiftyofthem;andtherearethreesousoverforluxuries。soiamricherthanfranceherself;forihavenodeficitinmybudget;andicontinuetoserveher;asisaveherlaceandbuttons。〃

    atthesewordsfatherchaufourlookedatmewithasmile;andwithhisgreatscissorsbegancuttingthegreenpaperagainforhiscardboardcases。myheartwastouched;andiremainedlostinthought。

    hereisstillanothermemberofthatsacredphalanxwho;inthebattleoflife;alwaysmarchinfrontfortheexampleandthesalvationoftheworld!eachofthesebravesoldiershashiswar…cry;forthisoneitis〃country;〃forthat〃home;〃forathird〃mankind;〃buttheyallfollowthesamestandard鈥斺�攖hatofduty;forallthesamedivinelawreigns鈥斺�攖hatofself…sacrifice。tolovesomethingmorethanonesself鈥斺�攖hatisthesecretofallthatisgreat;toknowhowtoliveforothers鈥斺�攖hatistheaimofallnoblesouls。



 CHAPTER XI

    moraluseofinventories

    november13th;nineoclockp。m。

    ihadwellstoppedupthechinksofmywindow;mylittlecarpetwasnaileddowninitsplace;mylamp;providedwithitsshade;castasubduedlightaround;andmystovemadealow;murmuringsound;asifsomelivecreaturewassharingmyhearthwithme。

    allwassilentaroundme。but;outofdoorsthesnowandrainswepttheroofs;andwithalow;rushingsoundranalongthegurglinggutters;sometimesagustofwindforceditselfbeneaththetiles;whichrattledtogetherlikecastanets;andafterwarditwaslostintheemptycorridor。

    thenaslightandpleasurableshiverthrilledthroughmyveins:idrewtheflapsofmyoldwaddeddressing…gownaroundme;ipulledmythreadbarevelvetcapovermyeyes;and;lettingmyselfsinkdeeperintomyeasy…chair;whilemyfeetbaskedintheheatandlightwhichshonethroughthedoorofthestove;igavemyselfuptoasensationofenjoyment;mademorelivelybytheconsciousnessofthestormwhichragedwithout。myeyes;swimminginasortofmist;wanderedoverallthedetailsofmypeacefulabode;theypassedfrommyprintstomybookcase;restinguponthelittlechintzsofa;thewhitecurtainsoftheironbedstead;andtheportfolioofloosepapers鈥斺�攖hosearchivesoftheattics;andthen;returningtothebookiheldinmyhand;theyattemptedtoseizeoncemorethethreadofthereadingwhichhadbeenthusinterrupted。

    infact;thisbook;thesubjectofwhichhadatfirstinterestedme;hadbeepainfultome。ihadetotheconclusionthatthepicturesofthewriterweretoosombre。hisdescriptionofthemiseriesoftheworldappearedexaggeratedtome;icouldnotbelieveinsuchexcessofpovertyandofsuffering;neithergodnormancouldshowthemselvessoharshtowardthesonsofadam。theauthorhadyieldedtoanartistictemptation:hewasmakingashowofthesufferingsofhumanity;asneroburnedromeforthesakeofthepicturesque。

    takenaltogether;thispoorhumanhouse;sooftenrepaired;somuchcriticised;isstillaprettygoodabode;wemayfindenoughinittosatisfyourwants;ifweknowhowtosetboundstothem;thehappinessofthewisemancostsbutlittle;andasksbutlittlespace。

    theseconsolingreflectionsbecamemoreandmoreconfused。atlastmybookfellonthegroundwithoutmyhavingtheresolutiontostoopandtakeitupagain;andinsensiblyoverebytheluxuryofthesilence;thesubduedlight;andthewarmth;ifellasleep。

    iremainedforsometimelostinthesortofinsensibilitybelongingtoafirstsleep;atlastsomevagueandbrokensensationscameoverme。

    itseemedtomethatthedaygrewdarker;thattheairbecamecolder。

    ihalfperceivedbushescoveredwiththescarletberrieswhichforetelltheingofwinter。iwalkedonadrearyroad;borderedhereandtherewithjuniper…treeswhitewithfrost。thenthescenesuddenlychanged。

    iwasinthediligence;thecoldwindshookthedoorsandwindows;thetrees;loadedwithsnow;passedbylikeghosts;invainithrustmybenumbedfeetintothecrushedstraw。atlastthecarriagestopped;and;byoneofthosestageeffectssomoninsleep;ifoundmyselfaloneinabarn;withoutafireplace;andopentothewindsonallsides。isawagainmymothersgentleface;knownonlytomeinmyearlychildhood;thenobleandsterncountenanceofmyfather;thelittlefairheadofmysister;whowastakenfromusattenyearsold;allmydeadfamilylivedagainaroundme;theywerethere;exposedtothebitingsofthecoldandtothepangsofhunger。mymotherprayedbytheresi
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