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It shocked her。 To see him there； a poor afflicted man； earning money by the sweat of his brow； had at first moved her to tears； but to hear him sing and not at all rebel against an occupation which； however satisfactory to himself； was degrading to her； as an educated lady…wife； wounded her through。 Unconscious of her presence； he still went on singing：
“Le point du jour
A nos bosquets rend toute leur parure；
Flore est plus belle a son retour；
L’oiseau reprend doux chant d’amour；
Tout celebre dans la nature
Le point du jour。
“Le point du jour
Cause parfois； cause douleur extreme；
Que l’espace des nuits est court
Pour le berger brulant d’amour；
Force de quitter ce qu’il aime
Au point du jour！”
It was bitterly plain to Eustacia that he did not care much about social failure； and the proud fair woman bowed her head and wept in sick despair at thought of the blasting effect upon her own life of that mood and condition in him。 Then she came forward。
“I would starve rather than do it！” she exclaimed vehemently。
“And you can sing！ I will go and live with my grandfather again！”
“Eustacia！ I did not see you； though I noticed something moving；” he said gently。 He came forward； pulled off his huge leather glove； and took her hand。 “Why do you speak in such a strange way？ It is only a little old song which struck my fancy when I was in Paris； and now just applies to my life with you。 Has your love for me all died； then； because my appearance is no longer that of a fine gentleman？”
“Dearest； you must not question me unpleasantly； or it may make me not love you。”
“Do you believe it possible that I would run the risk of doing that？”
“Well； you follow out your own ideas； and won’t give in to mine when I wish you to leave off this shameful labour。 Is there anything you dislike in me that you act so contrarily to my wishes？ I am your wife； and why will you not listen？ Yes； I am your wife indeed！”
“I know what that tone means。”
“What tone？”
“The tone in which you said； ‘Your wife indeed。’ It meant； ‘Your wife； worse luck。’”
“It is hard in you to probe me with that remark。 A woman may have reason； though she is not without heart； and if I felt ‘worse luck；’ it was no ignoble feeling— it was only too natural。 There； you see that at any rate I do not attempt untruths。 Do you remember how； before we were married； I warned you that I had not good wifely qualities？”
“You mock me to say that now。 On that point at least the only noble course would be to hold your tongue； for you are still queen of me； Eustacia； though I may no longer be king of you。”
“You are my husband。 Does not that content you？”
“Not unless you are my wife without regret。”
“I cannot answer you。 I remember saying that I should be a serious matter on your hands。”
“Yes； I saw that。”
“Then you were too quick to see！ No true lover would have seen any such thing； you are too severe upon me； Clym—I won’t like your speaking so at all。”
“Well； I married you in spite of it； and don’t regret doing so。 How cold you seem this afternoon！ and yet I used to think there never was a warmer heart than yours。”
“Yes； I fear we are cooling—I see it as well as you；” she sighed mournfully。 “And how madly we loved two months ago！ You were never tired of contemplating me； nor I of contemplating you。 Who could have thought then that by this time my eyes would not seem so very bright to yours； nor your lips so very sweet to mine？ Two months—is it possible？ Yes； ‘tis too true！”
“You sigh； dear； as if you were sorry for it； and that’s a hopeful sign。”
“No。 I don’t sigh for that。 There are other things for me to sigh for； or any other woman in my place。”
“That your chances in life are ruined by marrying in haste an unfortunate man？”
“Why will you force me； Clym； to say bitter things？ I deserve pity as much as you。 As much？I think I deserve it more。 For you can sing！ It would be a strange hour which should catch me singing under such a cloud as this！ Believe me； sweet； I could weep to a degree that would astonish and confound such an elastic mind as yours。 Even had you felt careless about your own affliction； you might have refrained from singing out of sheer pity for mine。 God！ if I were a man in such a position I would curse rather than sing。”
Yeobright placed his hand upon her arm。 “Now； don’t you suppose； my inexperienced girl； that I cannot rebel； in high Promethean fashion； against the gods and fate as well as you。 I have felt more steam and smoke of that sort than you have ever heard of。 But the more I see of life the more do I perceive that there is nothing particularly great in its greatest walks； and therefore nothing particularly small in mine of furze…cutting。 If I feel that the greatest blessings vouchsafed to us are not very valuable； how can I feel it to be any great hardship when they are taken away？ So I sing to pass the time。 Have you indeed lost all tenderness for me； that you begrudge me a few cheerful moments？”
“I have still some tenderness left for you。”
“Your words have no longer their old flavour。 And so love dies with good fortune！”
“I cannot listen to this； Clym—it will end bitterly；” she said in a broken voice。 “I will go home。”
3 … She Goes Out to Battle against Depression
A few days later； before the month of August has expired； Eustacia and Yeobright sat together at their early dinner。
Eustacia’s manner had bee of late almost apathetic。 There was a forlorn look about her beautiful eyes which； whether she deserved it or not； would have excited pity in the breast of anyone who had known her during the full flush of her love for Clym。 The feelings of husband and wife varied； in some measure； inversely with their positions。 Clym； the afflicted man； was cheerful； and he even tried to fort her； who had never felt a moment of physical suffering in her whole life。
“e； brighten up； dearest； we shall be all right again。
Some day perhaps I shall see as well as ever。 And I solemnly promise that I’ll leave off cutting furze as soon as I have the power to do anything better。 You cannot seriously wish me to stay idling at home all day？”
“But it is so dreadful—a furze…cutter！ and you a man who have lived about the world； and speak French； and German； and who are fit for what is so much better than this。”
“I suppose when you first saw me and heard about me I was wrapped in a sort of golden halo to your eyes—a man who knew glorious things； and had mixed in brilliant scenes—in short； an adorable； delightful； distracting hero？”
“Yes；” she said； sobbing。
“And now I am a poor fellow in brown leather。”
“Don’t taunt me。 But enough of this。 I will not be depressed any more。 I am going from home this afternoon； unless you greatly object。 There is to be a village picnic—a gipsying； they call it—at East Egdon； and I shall go。”
“To dance？”
“Why not？ You can sing。”
“Well； well； as you will。 Must I e to fetch you？”
“If you return soon enough from your work。 But do not inconvenience yourself about it。 I know the way home； and the heath has no terror for me。”
“And can you cling to gaiety so eagerly as to walk all the way to a village festival in search of it？”
“Now； you don’t like my going alone！ Clym； you are not jealous？”
“No。 But I would e with you if it could give you any pleasure； though； as things stand； perhaps you have too much of me already。 Still； I somehow wish that you did not want to go。 Yes； perhaps I am jealous； and who could be jealous with more reason than I； a half…blind man； over such a woman as you？”
“Don’t think like it。 Let me go； and don’t take all my spirits away！”
“I would rather lose all my own； my sweet wife。 Go and do whatever you like。 Who can forbid your indulgence in any whim？ You have all my heart yet； I believe； and because you bear with me； who am in truth a drag upon you； I owe you thanks。 Yes； go alone and shine。 As for me； I will stick to my doom。 At that kind of meeting people would shun me。 My hook and gloves are like the St。 Lazarus rattle of the leper； warning the world to get out of the way of a sight that would sadden them。” He kissed her； put on his leggings； and went out。
When he was gone she rested her head upon her hands and said to herself； “Two wasted lives—his and mine。 And I am e to this！ Will it drive me out of my mind？”
She cast about for any possible course which offered the least improvement on the existing state of things； and could find none。 She imagined how all those Budmouth ones who should learn what had bee of her would say； “Look at the girl for whom nobody was good enough！” To Eustacia the situation seemed such a mockery of her hopes that death appeared the only door of relief if the satire of Heaven should go much further。
Suddenly she aroused herself and exclaimed； “But I’ll shake it off。 Yes； I WILL shake it off！ No one shall know my suffering。 I’ll be bitterly merry； and ironically gay； and I’ll laugh in derision。 And I’ll begin by going to this dance on the green。”
She ascended to her bedroom and dressed herself with scrupulous care。 To an onlooker her beauty would have made her feelings almost seem reasonable。 The gloomy corner into which accident as much as indiscretion had brought this woman might have led even a moderate partisan to feel that she had cogent reasons for asking the Supreme Power by what right a being of such exquisite finish had been placed in circumstances calculated to make of her charms a curse rather than a blessing。
It was five in the afternoon when she came out from the house ready for her walk。 There was material enough in the picture for twenty new conquests。 The rebellious sadness that was rather too apparent when she sat indoors without a bonnet was cloaked and softened by her outdoor attire； which always had a sort of nebulousness about it； devoid of harsh edges anywhere； so that her face looked from its environment as from a cloud； with no noticeable lines of demarcation between flesh and clothes。 The heat of the day had scarcely declined as yet； and she went along the sunny hills at a leisurely pace； there being ample time for her idle expedition。 Tall ferns buried her in their leafage whenever her path lay through them； which now formed miniature forests； though not one stem of them would remain to bud the next year。
The site chosen for the village festivity was one of the lawnlike oases which were occasionally； yet not often； met with on the plateaux of the heath district。 The brakes of furze and fern terminated abruptly round the margin； and the grass was unbroken。 A green cattletrack skirted the spot； without； however； emerging from the screen of fern； and this path Eustacia followed； in order to reconnoitre the group before joining it。 The lusty notes of the East Egdon band had directed her unerringly； and she now beheld the musicians themselves； sitting in a blue wagon with red wheels scrubbed as bright as new； and arched with sticks； to which boughs and flowers were tied。 In front of this was the grand central dance of fifteen or twenty couples； flanked by minor dances of inferior individuals whose gyrations were not always in strict keeping with the tune。
The young men wore blue and white rosettes； and with a flush on their faces footed it to the girls； who； with the excitement and the exercise； blushed deeper than the pink of their numerous ribbons。 Fair ones with long curls； fair ones with short curls； fair ones with lovelocks； fair ones with braids； flew round and round； and a beholder might well have wondered how such a prepossessing set of young women of like size； age； and disposition； could have been collected together where there were only one or two villages to choose from。 In the background was one happy man dancing by himself； with closed eyes； totally oblivious of all the rest。 A fire was burning under a pollard thorn a few paces off； over which three kettles hung in a row。 Hard by was a table where elderly dames prepared tea； but Eustacia looked among them in vain for the cattle…dealer’s wife who had suggested that she should e； and had promised to obtain a courteous wele for her。
This unexpected absence of the only local resident whom Eustacia knew considerably damaged her scheme for an afternoon of reckless gaiety。 Joining in became a matter of difficulty； notwithstanding that； were she to advance； cheerful dames would e forward with cups of tea and make much of her as a stranger of superior grace and knowledge to themselves。 Having watched the pany through the figures of two dances； she decided to walk a little further； to a cottage where she might get some refreshment； and then return homeward in the shady time of evening。
This she did； and by the time that she retraced her steps towards the scene of the gipsying； which it was necessary to repass on her way to Alderworth； the sun was going down。 The air was now so still that she could hear the band afar off； and it seemed to be playing with more spirit； if that were possible； than when she had e away。 On reaching the hill the sun had quite disappeared； but this made little difference either to Eustacia or to the revellers； for a round yellow moon was rising before her