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ine without knowing what she drank。 The man for whom she had pre…determined to nourish a passion went into the small room； and across it to the further extremity。
The mummers； as has been stated； were seated on a bench； one end of which extended into the small apartment； or pantry； for want of space in the outer room。 Eustacia； partly from shyness； had chosen the midmost seat； which thus manded a view of the interior of the pantry as well as the room containing the guests。 When Clym passed down the pantry her eyes followed him in the gloom which prevailed there。 At the remote end was a door which； just as he was about to open it for himself； was opened by somebody within； and light streamed forth。
The person was Thomasin； with a candle； looking anxious； pale； and interesting。 Yeobright appeared glad to see her； and pressed her hand。 “That’s right； Tamsie；” he said heartily； as though recalled to himself by the sight of her； “you have decided to e down。 I am glad of it。”
“Hush—no； no；” she said quickly。 “I only came to speak to you。”
“But why not join us？”
“I cannot。 At least I would rather not。 I am not well enough； and we shall have plenty of time together now you are going to be home a good long holiday。”
“It isn’t nearly so pleasant without you。 Are you really ill？”
“Just a little； my old cousin—here；” she said； playfully sweeping her hand across her heart。
“Ah； Mother should have asked somebody else to be present tonight； perhaps？”
“O no； indeed。 I merely stepped down； Clym； to ask you—“ Here he followed her through the doorway into the private room beyond； and； the door closing； Eustacia and the mummer who sat next to her； the only other witness of the performance； saw and heard no more。
The heat flew to Eustacia’s head and cheeks。 She instantly guessed that Clym； having been home only these two or three days； had not as yet been made acquainted with Thomasin’s painful situation with regard to Wildeve； and seeing her living there just as she had been living before he left home； he naturally suspected nothing。 Eustacia felt a wild jealousy of Thomasin on the instant。 Though Thomasin might possibly have tender sentiments towards another man as yet； how long could they be expected to last when she was shut up here with this interesting and travelled cousin of hers？ There was no knowing what affection might not soon break out between the two； so constantly in each other’s society； and not a distracting object near。 Clym’s boyish love for her might have languished； but it might easily be revived again。
Eustacia was nettled by her own contrivances。 What a sheer waste of herself to be dressed thus while another was shining to advantage！ Had she known the full effect of the encounter she would have moved heaven and earth to get here in a natural manner。 The power of her face all lost； the charm of her emotions all disguised； the fascinations of her coquetry denied existence； nothing but a voice left to her； she had a sense of the doom of Echo。 “Nobody here respects me；” she said。 She had overlooked the fact that； in ing as a boy among other boys； she would be treated as a boy。 The slight； though of her own causing； and self…explanatory； she was unable to dismiss as unwittingly shown； so sensitive had the situation made her。
Women have done much for themselves in histrionic dress。 To look far below those who； like a certain fair personator of Polly Peachum early in the last century； and another of Lydia Languish early in this； ＇1＇ have won not only love but ducal coronets into the bargain； whole shoals of them have reached to the initial satisfaction of getting love almost whence they would。 But the Turkish Knight was denied even the chance of achieving this by the fluttering ribbons which she dared not brush aside。
＇1＇ Written in 1877。
Yeobright returned to the room without his cousin。 When within two or three feet of Eustacia he stopped； as if again arrested by a thought。 He was gazing at her。 She looked another way； disconcerted； and wondered how long this purgatory was to last。 After lingering a few seconds he passed on again。
To court their own disfiture by love is a mon instinct with certain perfervid women。 Conflicting sensations of love； fear； and shame reduced Eustacia to a state of the utmost uneasiness。 To escape was her great and immediate desire。 The other mummers appeared to be in no hurry to leave； and murmuring to the lad who sat next to her that she preferred waiting for them outside the house； she moved to the door as imperceptibly as possible； opened it； and slipped out。
The calm； lone scene reassured her。 She went forward to the palings and leant over them； looking at the moon。 She had stood thus but a little time when the door again opened。 Expecting to see the remainder of the band Eustacia turned； but no—Clym Yeobright came out as softly as she had done； and closed the door behind him。
He advanced and stood beside her。 “I have an odd opinion；” he said； “and should like to ask you a question。 Are you a woman—or am I wrong？”
“I am a woman。”
His eyes lingered on her with great interest。 “Do girls often play as mummers now？ They never used to。”
“They don’t now。”
“Why did you？”
“To get excitement and shake off depression；” she said in low tones。
“What depressed you？”
“Life。”
“That’s a cause of depression a good many have to put up with。”
“Yes。”
A long silence。 “And do you find excitement？” asked Clym at last。
“At this moment； perhaps。”
“Then you are vexed at being discovered？”
“Yes； though I thought I might be。”
“I would gladly have asked you to our party had I known you wished to e。 Have I ever been acquainted with you in my youth？”
“Never。”
“Won’t you e in again； and stay as long as you like？”
“No。 I wish not to be further recognized。”
“Well； you are safe with me。” After remaining in thought a minute he added gently； “I will not intrude upon you longer。 It is a strange way of meeting； and I will not ask why I find a cultivated woman playing such a part as this。” She did not volunteer the reason which he seemed to hope for； and he wished her good night； going thence round to the back of the house； where he walked up and down by himself for some time before re…entering。
Eustacia； warmed with an inner fire； could not wait for her panions after this。 She flung back the ribbons from her face； opened the gate； and at once struck into the heath。 She did not hasten along。 Her grandfather was in bed at this hour； for she so frequently walked upon the hills on moonlight nights that he took no notice of her ings and goings； and； enjoying himself in his own way； left her to do likewise。 A more important subject than that of getting indoors now engrossed her。 Yeobright； if he had the least curiosity； would infallibly discover her name。 What then？ She first felt a sort of exultation at the way in which the adventure had terminated； even though at moments between her exultations she was abashed and blushful。 Then this consideration recurred to chill her： What was the use of her exploit？ She was at present a total stranger to the Yeobright family。 The unreasonable nimbus of romance with which she had encircled that man might be her misery。 How could she allow herself to bee so infatuated with a stranger？ And to fill the cup of her sorrow there would be Thomasin； living day after day in inflammable proximity to him； for she had just learnt that； contrary to her first belief； he was going to stay at home some considerable time。
She reached the wicket at Mistover Knap； but before opening it she turned and faced the heath once more。 The form of Rainbarrow stood above the hills； and the moon stood above Rainbarrow。 The air was charged with silence and frost。 The scene reminded Eustacia of a circumstance which till that moment she had totally forgotten。 She had promised to meet Wildeve by the Barrow this very night at eight； to give a final answer to his pleading for an elopement。
She herself had fixed the evening and the hour。 He had probably e to the spot； waited there in the cold； and been greatly disappointed。
“Well； so much the better—it did not hurt him；” she said serenely。 Wildeve had at present the rayless outline of the sun through smoked glass； and she could say such things as that with the greatest facility。
She remained deeply pondering； and Thomasin’s winning manner towards her cousin arose again upon Eustacia’s mind。
“O that she had been married to Damon before this！” she said。 “And she would if it hadn’t been for me！ If I had only known—if I had only known！”
Eustacia once more lifted her deep stormy eyes to the moonlight； and； sighing that tragic sigh of hers which was so much like a shudder； entered the shadow of the roof。 She threw off her trappings in the outhouse； rolled them up； and went indoors to her chamber。
7 … A Coalition between Beauty and Oddness
The old captain’s prevailing indifference to his granddaughter’s movements left her free as a bird to follow her own courses； but it so happened that he did take upon himself the next morning to ask her why she had walked out so late。
“Only in search of events； Grandfather；” she said； looking out of the window with that drowsy latency of manner which discovered so much force behind it whenever the trigger was pressed。
“Search of events—one would think you were one of the bucks I knew at one…and…twenty。”
“It is lonely here。”
“So much the better。 If I were living in a town my whole time would be taken up in looking after you。 I fully expected you would have been home when I returned from the Woman。”
“I won’t conceal what I did。 I wanted an adventure； and I went with the mummers。 I played the part of the Turkish Knight。”
“No； never？ Ha； ha！ Good gad！ I didn’t expect it of you； Eustacia。”
“It was my first performance； and it certainly will be my last。 Now I have told you—and remember it is a secret。”
“Of course。 But； Eustacia； you never did—ha！ ha！ Dammy； how ‘twould have pleased me forty years ago！ But remember； no more of it； my girl。 You may walk on the heath night or day； as you choose； so that you don’t bother me； but no figuring in breeches again。”
“You need have no fear for me； Grandpapa。”
Here the conversation ceased； Eustacia’s moral training never exceeding in severity a dialogue of this sort； which； if it ever became profitable to good works； would be a result not dear at the price。 But her thoughts soon strayed far from her own personality； and； full of a passionate and indescribable solicitude for one to whom she was not even a name； she went forth into the amplitude of tanned wild around her； restless as Ahasuerus the Jew。 She was about half a mile from her residence when she beheld a sinister redness arising from a ravine a little way in advance—dull and lurid like a flame in sunlight and she guessed it to signify Diggory Venn。
When the farmers who had wished to buy in a new stock of reddle during the last month had inquired where Venn was to be found； people replied； “On Egdon Heath。” Day after day the answer was the same。 Now； since Egdon was populated with heath…croppers and furze…cutters rather than with sheep and shepherds； and the downs where most of the latter were to be found lay some to the north； some to the west of Egdon； his reason for camping about there like Israel in Zin was not apparent。 The position was central and occasionally desirable。 But the sale of reddle was not Diggory’s primary object in remaining on the heath； particularly at so late a period of the year； when most travellers of his class had gone into winter quarters。
Eustacia looked at the lonely man。 Wildeve had told her at their last meeting that Venn had been thrust forward by Mrs。 Yeobright as one ready and anxious to take his place as Thomasin’s betrothed。 His figure was perfect； his face young and well outlined； his eye bright； his intelligence keen； and his position one which he could readily better if he chose。 But in spite of possibilities it was not likely that Thomasin would accept this Ishmaelitish creature while she had a cousin like Yeobright at her elbow； and Wildeve at the same time not absolutely indifferent。 Eustacia was not long in guessing that poor Mrs。 Yeobright； in her anxiety for her niece’s future； had mentioned this lover to stimulate the zeal of the other。 Eustacia was on the side of the Yeobrights now； and entered into the spirit of the aunt’s desire。
“Good morning； miss；” said the reddleman； taking off his cap of hareskin； and apparently bearing her no ill…will from recollection of their last meeting。
“Good morning； reddleman；” she said； hardly troubling to lift her heavily shaded eyes to his。 “I did not know you were so near。 Is your van here too？”
Venn moved his elbow towards a hollow in which a dense brake of purple…stemmed brambles had grown to such vast dimensions as almost to form a dell。 Brambles； though churlish when handled； are kindly shelter in early winter； being the latest of the deciduous bushes to lose their leaves。
The roof and chimney of Venn’s caravan showed behind the tracery and tangles of the brake。
“You remain near this part？” she asked with more interest。