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f tree trunks。 He took a deep breath and exhaled through his nose; the air hissing through his mustache for what seemed an eternity I couldn t decide whether I wanted to hug him or leap from his lap in mortal fear。
I see you ve confused what you re learning in school with actual education; he said in his thick voice。
But if what he said is true then does it make you a sinner; Baba?
Hmm。 Baba crushed an ice cube between his teeth。 Do you want to know what your father thinks about sin?
Yes。
Then I ll tell you; Baba said; but first understand this and understand it now; Amir: You ll never learn anything of value from those bearded idiots。
You mean Mullah Fatiullah Khan?
Baba gestured with his glass。 The ice clinked。 I mean all of them。 Piss on the beards of all those self…righteous monkeys。
I began to giggle。 The image of Baba pissing on the beard of any monkey; self…righteous or otherwise; was too much。
They do nothing but thumb their prayer beads and recite a book written in a tongue they don t even understand。 He took a sip。 God help us all if Afghanistan ever falls into their hands。
But Mullah Fatiullah Khan seems nice; I managed between bursts of tittering。
So did Genghis Khan; Baba said。 But enough about that。 You asked about sin and I want to tell you。 Are you listening?
Yes; I said; pressing my lips together。 But a chortle escaped through my nose and made a snorting sound。 That got me giggling again。
Baba s stony eyes bore into mine and; just like that; I wasn t laughing anymore。 I mean to speak to you man to man。 Do you think you can handle that for once?
Yes; Baba jan; I muttered; marveling; not for the first time; at how badly Baba could sting me with so few words。 We d had a fleeting good moment……it wasn t often Baba talked to me; let alone on his lap……and I d been a fool to waste it。
Good; Baba said; but his eyes wondered。 Now; no matter what the mullah teaches; there is only one sin; only one。 And that is theft。 Every other sin is a variation of theft。 Do you understand that?
No; Baba jan; I said; desperately wishing I did。 I didn t want to disappoint him again。
Baba heaved a sigh of impatience。 That stung too; because he was not an impatient man。 I remembered all the times he didn t e home until after dark; all the times I ate dinner alone。 I d ask Ali where Baba was; when he was ing home; though I knew full well he was at the construction site; overlooking this; supervising that。 Didn t that take patience? I already hated all the kids he was building the orphanage for; sometimes I wished they d all died along with their parents。
When you kill a man; you steal a life; Baba said。 You steal his wife s right to a husband; rob his children of a father。 When you tell a lie; you steal someone s right to the truth。 When you cheat; you steal the right to fairness。 Do you see?
I did。 When Baba was six; a thief walked into my grandfather s house in the middle of the night。 My grandfather; a respected judge; confronted him; but the thief stabbed him in the throat; killing him instantly……and robbing Baba of a father。 The townspeople caught the killer just before noon the next day; he turned out to be a wanderer from the Kunduz region。 They hanged him from the branch of an oak tree with still two hours to go before afternoon prayer。 It was Rahim Khan; not Baba; who had told me that story。 I was always learning things about Baba from other people。
There is no act more wretched than stealing; Amir; Baba said。 A man who takes what s not his to take; be it a life or a loaf of _naan_。。。 I spit on such a man。 And if I ever cross paths with him; God help him。 Do you understand?
I found the idea of Baba clobbering a thief both exhilarating and terribly frightening。 Yes; Baba。
If there s a God out there; then I would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork。 Now; hop down。 All this talk about sin has made me thirsty again。
I watched him fill his glass at the bar and wondered how much time would pass before we talked again the way we just had。 Because the truth of it was; I always felt like Baba hated me a little。 And why not? After all; I _had_ killed his beloved wife; his beautiful princess; hadn t I? The least I could have done was to have had the decency to have turned out a little more like him。 But I hadn t turned out like him。 Not at all。
IN SCHOOL; we used to play a game called _Sherjangi_; or Battle of the Poems。 The Farsi teacher moderated it and it went something like this: You recited a verse from a poem and your opponent had sixty seconds to reply with a verse that began with the same letter that ended yours。 Everyone in my class wanted me on their team; because by the time I was eleven; I could recite dozens of verses from Khayyam; H~afez; or Rumi s famous _Masnawi_。 One time; I took on the whole class and won。 I told Baba about it later that night; but he just nodded; muttered; Good。
That was how I escaped my father s aloofness; in my dead mother s books。 That and Hassan; of course。 I read everything; Rumi; H~afez; Saadi; Victor Hugo; Jules Verne; Mark Twain; Ian Fleming。 When I had finished my mother s books……not the
boring history ones; I was never much into those; but the novels; the epics……I started spending my allowance on books。 I bought one a week from the bookstore near Cinema Park; and stored them in cardboard boxes when I ran out of shelf room。
Of course; marrying a poet was one thing; but fathering a son who preferred burying his face in poetry books to hunting。。。 well; that wasn t how Baba had envisioned it; I suppose。 Real men didn t read poetry……and God forbid they should ever write it! Real men……real boys……played soccer just as Baba had when he had been young。 Now _that_ was something to be passionate about。 In 1970; Baba took a break from the construction of the orphanage and flew to Tehran for a month to watch the World Cup games on television; since at the time Afghanistan didn t have TVs yet。 He signed me up for soccer teams to stir the same passion in me。 But I was pathetic; a blundering liability to my own team; always in the way of an opportune pass or unwittingly blocking an open lane。 I shambled about the field on scraggy legs; squalled for passes that never came my way。 And the harder I tried; waving my arms over my head frantically and screeching; I m open! I m open! the more I went ignored。 But Baba wouldn t give up。 When it became abundantly clear that I hadn t inherited a shred of his athletic talents; he settled for trying to turn me into a passionate spectator。 Certainly I could manage that; couldn t I? I faked intere