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  everything you did for Lily。 Tracking me down�察�helping my 
  parents�察�sitting with her for hours on end。 Really。 ̄

  ^No problem。 It¨s what anyone would do when someone they know 
  is hurt。 No big deal。 ̄ Implied in this�察�of course�察�was that 
  anyone would do it except someone who happens to be 
  phenomenally self´centered with whacked´out priorities�察�like 
  yours truly。

  ^Alex�察�please�察�can we just talk like! ̄

  ^No。 We really can¨t talk about anything right now。 I¨ve been 
  around for the last year waiting to talk to you!begging�察�
  sometimes!and you haven¨t been all that interested。 Somewhere 
  in that year�察�I lost the Andy I fell in love with。 I¨m not 
  sure how�察�I¨m not exactly sure when it happened�察�but you are 
  definitely not the same person you were before this job。 My 
  Andy would have never even entertained the idea of choosing a 
  fashion show or a party or whatever over being there for a 
  friend who really�察�really needed her。 Like��really needed her。 
  Now�察�I¨m glad you decided to e Home!that you know it was 
  the right thing to do!but now I need some time to figure out 
  what¨s going on with me�察�and with you�察�and with us。 This isn¨t 
  new�察�Andy�察�not to me。 It¨s been happening for a long�察�long 
  time!you¨ve just been too busy to notice。 ̄

  ^Alex�察�you haven¨t given me a single second to sit down�察�face 
  to face�察�and try to explain to you what¨s been going on。 Maybe 
  you¨re right�察�maybe I am a pletely different person。 But I 
  don¨t think so!and even if I¨ve changed�察�I don¨t think it¨sall 
  been for the worse。 Have we really grown apart that much�拭�

  Even more than Lily�察�he was my best friend�察�of that I was 
  certain�察�but he hadn¨t been my boyfriend for many�察�many 
  months。 I realized that he was right�此�it was time I told him 
  so。

  I took a deep breath and said what I knew was the right thing�察�
  even though it didn¨t feel so great then。 ^You¨re right。 ̄

  ^I am�拭�You agree�拭�

  ^Yes。 I¨ve been really selfish and unfair to you。 ̄

  ^So what now�拭院�he asked�察�sounding resigned but not 
  heartbroken。

  ^I don¨t know。 What now�拭�Do we just stop talking�拭�Stop seeing 
  each other�拭�I have no idea how this is supposed to work。 But I 
  want you to be a part of my life�察�and I can¨t imagine not 
  being a part of yours。 ̄

  ^Me neither。 But I¨m not sure we¨re going to be able to do 
  that for a long�察�long time。 We weren¨t friends before we 
  started dating�察�and it seems impossible to imagine just being 
  friends now。 But who knows�拭�Maybe once we¨ve both had a lot of 
  time to figure things out 。 。 。 ̄

  I hung up the phone that first night back and cried�察�not just 
  for Alex but for everything that had changed and shifted 
  during the past year。 I¨d strolled into Elias´Clark a 
  clueless�察�poorly dressed little girl�察�and I¨d staggered out a 
  slightly weathered�察�poorly dressed semigrown´up ��albeit one 
  who now realized just how poorly dressed she was��。 But in the 
  interim�察�I¨d experienced enough to fill a hundred 
  just´out´of´college jobs。 And even though my r└sum└ now 
  sported a scarlet ^F�察院�even though my boyfriend had called it 
  quits�察�even though I¨d left with nothing more concrete than a 
  suitcase ��well�察�OK�察�four Louis Vuitton suitcases�� full of 
  fabulous designer clothes!maybe it had been worth it��

  I turned off the ringer and pulled an old notebook from my 
  bottom desk drawer and began to write。

  My father had already escaped to his office and my mother was 
  on her way to the garage when I made it downstairs。

  ^Morning�察�honey。 Didn¨t know you were awake� �I¨m running out。 
  I have a student at nine。 Jill¨s flight is at noon�察�so you 
  should probably leave sooner than later since there will be 
  rush´hour traffic。 I¨ll have my cell on if anything goes 
  wrong。 Oh�察�will you and Lily be Home for dinner tonight�拭�

  ^I¨m really not sure。 I just woke up and haven¨t yet had a cup 
  of Coffee。 Do you think I could decide on dinner in a little 
  while�拭�

  But she hadn¨t even stuck around to listen to my snotty 
  response!she was halfway out the door by the time I opened my 
  mouth。 Lily�察�Jill�察�Kyle�察�and the baby were sitting around the 
  kitchen table in silence�察�reading different sections of 
  theTimes 。 There was a plate of wet´looking�察�wholly 
  unappetizing waffles in the middle�察�with a bottle of Aunt 
  Jemima and a tub of butter straight from the fridge。 The only 
  thing anyone appeared to be touching was the Coffee�察�which my 
  father had picked up on his morning run to Dunkin Donuts!a 
  tradition stemming from his understandable unwillingness to 
  ingest anything my mother had made herself。 I forked a waffle 
  onto a paper plate and went to cut it�察�but it immediately 
  collapsed into a soggy pile of dough。

  ^This is inedible。 Did Dad pick up any donuts today�拭�

  ^Yeah�察�he hid them in the closet outside his office�察院�Kyle 
  drawled。 ^Didn¨t want your mother to see。 Bring back the box 
  if you¨re going�拭�

  The phone rang on my way to seek out the hidden booty。

  ^Hello�拭院�I answered in my best irritated voice。 I¨d finally 
  stopped answering any ringing phone with ^Miranda Priestly¨s 
  office。 ̄

  ^Hello there。 Is Andrea Sachs there�察�please�拭�

  ^Speaking。 May I ask who¨s calling�拭�

  ^Andrea�察�hi�察�this is Loretta Andriano fromSeventeen magazine。 ̄

  My heart lurched。 I¨d pitched a 2��000´word ^fiction ̄ piece 
  about a teenage girl who gets so caught up on getting into 
  college that she ignores her friends and family。 It had taken 
  me all of two hours to write the silly thing�察�but I thought 
  I¨d managed to strike just the right chords of funny and 
  touching。

  ^Hi� �How are you�拭�

  ^I¨m fine�察�thank you。 Listen�察�your story got passed along to 
  me�察�and I have to tell you!I love it。 Needs some revisions�察�of 
  course�察�and the language needs some tweaking!our readers are 
  mostly pre´ and early teens!but I¨d like to run it in the 
  February issue。 ̄

  ^You would�拭院�I could hardly believe it。 I¨d sent the story to 
  a dozen teen magazines and then wrote a slightly more mature 
  version and sent that to nearly two dozen women¨s magazines�察�
  but I hadn¨t heard a word back from anyone。

  ^Absolutely。 We pay one´fifty per word�察�and I¨ll just need to 
  have you fill out a few tax forms。 You¨ve freelanced stories 
  before�察�right�拭�

  ^Actually�察�no�察�but I used to work atRunway 。 ̄ I don¨t know how 
  I thought this would help!especially since the only thing I 
  ever wrote there were forged memos meant to intimidate other 
  people!but Loretta didn¨t appear to notice the gaping hole in 
  my logic。

  ^Oh�察�really�拭�My first job out of college was as a fashion 
  assistant atRunway 。 I learned more there that year than I did 
  in the next five。 ̄

  ^It was a real experience。 I was lucky to have it。 ̄

  ^What did you do there�拭�

  ^I was actually Miranda Priestly¨s assistant。 ̄

  ^Were you really�拭�You poor girl�察�I had no idea。 Wait a 
  minute!were you the one who was just fired in Paris�拭�

  I realized too late that I had made a big mistake。 There¨d 
  been a sizable blurb inPage Six about the whole messy thing a 
  few days after I got Home�察�probably from one of the Clackers 
  who¨d witnessed my terrible manners。 Considering they quoted 
  me exactly�察�I couldn¨t figure out who else it could¨ve been。 
  How could I have forgotten that other people might have read 
  that�拭�I had a feeling that Loretta was going to be distinctly 
  less pleased with my story than she was three minutes ago�察�but 
  there was no escaping now。

  ^Um�察�yeah。 It wasn¨t as bad as it seemed�察�really it wasn¨t。 
  Things got totally blown out of proportion in thatPage Six 
  article。 Really。 ̄

  ^Well�察�I hope not� �Someone needed to tell that woman to go 
  fuck herself�察�and if it was you�察�well�察�then�察�hats off� �That 
  woman made my life a living hell for the year I worked there�察�
  and I never even had to exchange a single word with her。

  ^Look�察�I¨ve got to run to a press lunch right now�察�but why 
  don¨t we set up a meeting�拭�You need to e in and fill out 
  some of these papers�察�and I¨d like to meet you anyway。 Bring 
  anything else you think might work for the magazine。 ̄

  ^Great。 Oh�察�that sounds great。 ̄ We agreed to meet next Friday 
  at three�察�and I hung up still not believing what had happened。 
  Kyle and Jill had left the baby with Lily while they went to 
  dress and pack�察�and he had menced a sort of 
  crying´whimpering thing that sounded as though he was two 
  seconds away from all´out hysteria。 I scooped him out of his 
  seat and held him over my shoulder�察�rubbing his back through 
  his terry´cloth footie pajamas�察�and�察�remarkably�察�he shut up。

  ^You¨ll never believe who that was�察院�I sang�察�dancing around 
  the room with Isaac。 ^It was an editor atSeventeen 
  magazine!I¨m going to be published� �

  ^Shut up� �They¨re printing your life story�拭�

  ^It¨s not my life story!it¨s `Jennifer¨s¨ life story。 And it¨s 
  only two thousand words�察�so it¨s not the biggest thing ever�察�
  but it¨s a start。 ̄

  ^Sure�察�whatever you say。 Young girl gets super caught up in 
  achieving something and ends up screwing over all the people 
  who matter in her life。 Jennifer¨s story。 Uh´huh�察�whatever。 ̄ 
  Lily was grinning and rolling her eyes at the same time。

  ^Whatever�察�details�察�details。 The point is�察�they¨re publishing 
  it in the February issue and they¨re paying me three thousand 
  dollars for it。 How crazy is that�拭�

  ^Congrats�察�Andy。 Seriously�察�that¨s amazing。 And now you¨ll 
  have this as a clip�察�right�拭�

  ^Yep。 Hey�察�it¨s notThe New Yorker�察�but it¨s an OK first step。 
  If I can round up a few more of these�察�maybe in some different 
  magazines�察�too�察�I might be getting somewhere。 I have a meeting 
  with the woman on Friday�察�and she told me to bring anything 
  else I¨ve been working on。 And she didn¨t even ask if I speak 
  French。 And she hates Miranda。 I can work with this woman。 ̄

  I drove the Texas crew to the airport�察�picked up a good and 
  greasy Burger King lunch for Lily and me to wash down our 
  breakfast donuts with�察�and spent the rest of the day!and the 
  next�察�and the next after that!working on some stuff to show 
  the Miranda´loathing Loretta。


  19

  ^Tall vanilla cappuccino�察�please�察院�I ordered from a barista I 
  didn¨t recognize at the Starbucks on 57th Street。 It had been 
  nearly five months since I¨d been here last�察�trying to balance 
  a whole tray of Coffees and snacks and get back to Miranda 
  before she fired me for breathing。 When I thought about it 
  like that�察�I figured it was far better to have gotten fired 
  for screaming ^fuck you ̄ than it was to get fired because I¨d 
  brought back two packets of Equal instead of two raw sugars。 
  Same oute�察�but a totally different ballgame。

  Who knew Starbucks had such huge turnover�拭�There wasn¨t a 
  single person behind the counter who looked remotely familiar�察�
  making all the time I¨d spent there seem that much farther 
  away。 I smoothed my well´cut but nondesigner black pants and 
  checked to make sure that the cuffed bottoms hadn¨t collected 
  any of the city¨s muddy slush。 I knew there was an entire 
  magazine staff of fashionistas who would emphatically disagree 
  with me�察�but I thought I looked pretty damn good for only my 
  second interview。 Not only did I now know that no one wears 
  suits at magazines�察�but somewhere�察�somehow�察�a year¨s worth of 
  high fashion had!by simple osmosis�察�I think!crammed itself 
  into my head。

  The cappuccino was almost too hot�察�but it felt fantastic on 
  that chilly�察�wet day。 The darkened�察�late´afternoon sky seemed 
  to be misting the city with a giant Snow´Cone。 Normally�察�a day 
  like this would¨ve depressed me。 It was�察�after all�察�one of the 
  more depressing days in the year¨s most depressing month 
  ��February���察�the kind when even the optimists would rather 
  crawl under the covers and the pessimists didn¨t stand a 
  chance of getting through without a fistful of Zoloft。 But the 
  Starbucks was warmly lit and just the right state of crowded�察�
  and I curled up in one of their oversize green armchairs and 
  tried not to think of who had rubbed his dirty hair there 
  last。

  In the past three months�察�Loretta had bee my mentor�察�my 
  champion�察�my savior。 We¨d hit it off in that first meeting and 
  she¨d been nothing but wonderful to me ever since。 As soon as 
  I¨d walked into her spacious but cluttered office and saw that 
  s
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