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of his voice�察�every look�察�every signal。 He¨d just started a few
weeks earlier at PS 277 in the Bronx and was so worn down he could
barely speak。 Even though his kids were only nine years old�察�he¨d
been disappointed to see how jaded and cynical they already were。 He
was disgusted that they all spoke freely about blow jobs�察�knew ten
different slang words for pot�察�and loved to brag about the stuff
they stole or whose cousin was currently residing in a tougher jail。
^Prison connoisseurs�察院�Alex had taken to calling them。 ^They could
write a book on the subtle advantages of Sing Sing over Rikers�察�but
they can¨t read a word of the English language。 ̄ He was trying to
figure out how he could make a difference。
I slid my hand under his T´shirt and started to scratch his back。
Poor thing looked so miserable that I felt guilty bothering him with
the details of the interview�察�but I just had to talk about it with
someone。 ^I know。 I understand that there wouldn¨t be anything
editorial about the job whatsoever�察�but I¨m sure I¨ll be able to do
some writing after a few months�察院�I said。 ^You don¨t think it¨s
pletely selling out to work at afashion magazine�察�do you�拭�
He squeezed my arm and lay down next to me。 ^Baby�察�you¨re a
brilliant�察�wonderful writer�察�and I know you¨ll be fantastic
anywhere。 And of course it¨s not selling out。 It¨s paying your dues。
You¨re saying that if you put in a year atRunway you¨ll save
yourself three more years of bullshit assistant work somewhere
else�拭�
I nodded。 ^That¨s what Emily and Allison said�察�that it was an
automatic quid pro quo。 Work a year for Miranda and don¨t get fired�察�
and she¨ll make a call and get you a job anywhere you want。 ̄
^Then how could you not�拭�Seriously�察�Andy�察�you¨ll work your year and
you¨ll get a job atThe New Yorker 。 It¨s what you¨ve always wanted� �
And it sure sounds like you¨ll get there a whole lot faster doing
this than anything else。 ̄
^You¨re right�察�you¨re totally right。 ̄
^And besides�察�it would guarantee that you¨re moving to New York�察�
which�察�I have to say�察�is very appealing to me right now。 ̄ He kissed
me�察�one of those long�察�lazy kisses it seemed we had personally
invented。 ^But stop worrying so much。 Like you said yourself�察�you¨re
still not sure you have the job。 Let¨s wait and see。 ̄
We cooked a simple dinner and fell asleep watching Letterman。 I was
dreaming about obnoxious little nine´year´olds having sex on the
playground while they swigged forties of Olde English and screamed
at my sweet�察�loving boyfriend when the phone rang。
Alex picked it up and pressed it to his ear but didn¨t bother to
open his eyes or say hello。 He quickly dropped it next to me。 I
wasn¨t sure I could muster the energy to pick it up。
^Hello�拭院�I mumbled�察�glancing at the clock and seeing that it was
7��15A 。M。 Who the hell would call at such an hour��
^It¨s me�察院�barked a very angry´sounding Lily。
^Hi�察�is everything OK�拭�
^Do you think I¨d be calling you if everything was OK�拭�I¨m so
hungover I could die�察�and I finally stop puking long enough to fall
asleep�察�and I¨m awakened by a scarily perky woman who says she works
in HR at Elias´Clark。 And she¨s looking for you。 Atseven´fifteen in
the freakin¨ morning。 So call her back。 And tell her to lose my
number。 ̄
^Sorry�察�Lil。 I gave them your number because I don¨t have a cell
yet。 I can¨t believe she called so early� �I wonder if that¨s good or
bad�拭院�I took the portable and crept out of the bedroom�察�quietly
closing the door as I went。
^Whatev。 Good luck。 Let me know how it goes。 Just not in the next
couple hours�察�OK�拭�
^Will do。 Thanks。 And sorry。 ̄
I looked at my watch again and couldn¨t believe I was about to have
a Business conversation。 I put on a pot of Coffee and waited until
it had finished brewing and brought a cup to the couch。 It was time
to call。 I had no choice。
^Hello�察�this is Andrea Sachs�察院�I said firmly�察�although my voice
betrayed me with its deep�察�raspy�察�just´woke´up´ness。
^Andrea�察�good morning� �Hope I didn¨t call too early�察院�Sharon sang�察�
her own voice full of sunshine。 ^I¨m sure I didn¨t�察�my dear�察�
especially since you¨ll have to be an early bird soon enough� �I have
some very good news。 Miranda was very impressed with you and said
she¨s very much looking forward to working with you。 Isn¨t that
wonderful�拭�Congratulations�察�dear。 How does it feel to be Miranda
Priestly¨s new assistant�拭�I imagine that you¨re just! ̄
My head was spinning。 I tried to pull myself off the couch to get
some more Coffee�察�water�察�anything that might clear my head and turn
her words back into English�察�but I only sank further into the
cushions。 Was she asking me if I would like the job�拭�Or was she
making an official offer�拭�I couldn¨t make sense of anything she¨d
just said�察�anything other than the fact that Miranda Priestly had
liked me。
^!delighted with this news。 Who wouldn¨t be�察�right�拭�So let¨s see�察�
you can start on Monday�察�right�拭�She¨ll actually be on vacation then�察�
but that¨s a great time to start。 Give you a little time to get
acquainted with the other girls!oh�察�they¨re all such sweeties� 院�
Acquainted�拭�What�拭�Starting Monday�拭�Sweetie girls�拭�It was refusing to
make sense in my addled brain。 I picked a single phrase that I¨d
understood and responded to it。
^Um�察�well�察�I don¨t think I can start Monday�察院�I said quietly�察�hoping
I¨d indeed said something coherent。 Saying those words had shocked
me into semiwakefulness。 I¨d walked through the Elias´Clark doors
for the very first time the day before�察�and was being awakened from
a deep sleep to listen to someone tell me that I was to begin work
in three days。 It was Friday!at seven o¨clock in the goddamn
morning!and they wanted me to start on Monday�拭�It began to feel like
everything was spiraling out of control。 Why the ridiculous rush�拭�
Was this woman so important that she needed me so badly�拭�And why
exactly did Sharon herself sound so scared of Miranda��
Starting Monday would be impossible。 I had nowhere to live。 Home
base was my parents¨ house in Avon�察�the place I¨d grudgingly moved
back to after graduation�察�and where most of my things remained while
I¨d traveled during the summer。 All of my interview´related clothes
were piled on Lily¨s couch。 I¨d been trying to do the dishes and
empty her ashtrays and buy pints of Hä��agen´Dazs so she wouldn¨t hate
me�察�but I thought it only fair to give her a much´needed break from
my unending presence�察�so I camped out on weekends at Alex¨s。 That
put all of my weekend going´out clothes and fun makeup at Alex¨s in
Brooklyn�察�my laptop and mismatched suits at Lily¨s Harlem studio�察�
and the rest of my life at my parents¨ house in Avon。 I had no
apartment in New York and didn¨t particularly understand how
everyone knew that Madison Avenue ran uptown but Broadway ran down。
I didn¨t actually know what uptown was。 And she wanted me to start
Monday��
^Um�察�well�察�I don¨t think I can do this Monday because I don¨t
currently live in New York�察院�I quickly explained�察�clutching the
phone�察 �and I¨ll need a couple days to find an apartment and buy
some furniture and move。 ̄
^Oh�察�well�察�then。 I suppose Wednesday would be OK�察院�she sniffed。
After a few more minutes of haggling�察�we finally settled on November
17�察�a week from Monday。 That left me a little more than eight days
to find and furnish a Home in one of the craziest real estate
markets in the world。
I hung up and flopped back down on the couch。 My hands were
trembling�察�and I let the phone drop to the floor。 A week。 I had a
week to start working at the job I¨d just accepted as Miranda
Priestly¨s assistant。 But�察�wait� �That¨s what was bothering me 。 。 。
I hadn¨t actually accepted the job because it hadn¨t even been
officially offered。 Sharon hadn¨t even had to utter the words ^We¨d
like to make you an offer�察院�since she took it for granted that
anyone with some semblance of intelligence would obviously just
accept。 No one had so much as mentioned the word ^salary。 ̄ I almost
laughed out loud。 Was this some sort of war tactic they¨d perfected�拭�
Wait until the victim was finally deep into REM sleep after an
extremely stressful day and then throw some life´altering news at
her�拭�Or had she just assumed that it would be wasted time and breath
to do something as mundane as make a job offer and wait for
acceptance�察�considering that this wasRunway magazine�拭�Sharon had
just assumed that of course I¨d jump all over the chance�察�that I¨d
be thrilled with the opportunity。 And�察�as they always were at
Elias´Clark�察�she was right。 It had all happened so fast�察�so
frenetically�察�that I hadn¨t had time to debate and deliberate as
usual。 But I had a good feeling that thiswas an opportunity I¨d be
crazy to turn down�察�that this could actually be a great first step
to getting toThe New Yorker 。 I had to try it。 I was lucky to have
it。
Newly energized�察�I gulped the rest of my Coffee�察�brewed another cup
for Alex�察�and took a quick�察�hot shower。 When I went back into his
room�察�he was just sitting up。
^You¨re dressed already�拭院�he asked�察�fumbling for the tiny
wire´rimmed glasses he was blind without。 ^Did someone call this
morning�察�or did I dream that�拭�
^Not a dream�察院�I said�察�crawling back under the covers even though I
was wearing jeans and a turtleneck sweater。 I was careful not to let
my wet hair soak his pillows。 ^That was Lily。 The HR woman from
Elias´Clark called her place because that¨s the number I gave them。
And guess what�拭�
^You got the job�拭�
^I got the job� �
^Oh�察�e here� 院�he said�察�sitting up and hugging me。 ^I¨m so proud
of you� �That¨s great news�察�it really is。 ̄
^So you really think it¨s a good opportunity�拭�I know we talked about
it�察�but they didn¨t even give me a chance to decide。 She just
assumed that I¨d want the job。 ̄
^It¨s an amazing opportunity。 fashion isn¨t the worst thing on
earth!maybe it¨ll even be interesting。 ̄
I rolled my eyes。
^OK�察�so maybe that¨s going a little far。 But withRunway on your
r└sum└ and a letter from this Miranda woman�察�and maybe even a few
clips by the time you¨re done�察�hell�察�you can do anything。The New
Yorker will be beating down your door。 ̄
^I hope you¨re right�察�I really do。 ̄ I jumped up and starting
throwing my things in my backpack。 ^Is it still OK if I borrow your
car�拭�The sooner I get Home�察�the sooner I can get back。 Not that it
really matters�察�because I¨mmoving to New York 。 It¨s official� �
Since Alex went home to Westchester twice a week to babysit his
little brother when his mom had to work late�察�his mom had given him
her old car to keep in the city。 But he wouldn¨t be needing it until
Tuesday�察�and I¨d be back before then。 I had been planning to go Home
that weekend anyway�察�and now I¨d have some good news to bring with
me。
^Sure。 No problem。 It¨s in a spot about a half´block down on Grand
Street。 The keys are on the kitchen table。 Call me when you get
there�察�OK�拭�
^Will do。 Sure you don¨t want to e�拭�There¨ll be great food!you
know my mom orders in only the best。 ̄
^Sounds tempting。 You know I would�察�but I organized some of the
younger teachers to get together tomorrow night for happy hour。
Thought it might help us all work as a team。 I really can¨t miss
it。 ̄
^Goddamn do´gooder。 Always doing good�察�spreading good cheer wherever
you go。 I¨d hate you if I didn¨t love you so much。 ̄ I leaned over
and kissed him good´bye。
I found his little green Jetta on the first try and only spent
twenty minutes trying to find the parkway that would take me to 95
North�察�which was wide open。 It was a freezing day for November�察�the
temperature was in the midthirties�察�and there were slick frozen
patches on the back roads。 But the sun was out�察�the kind of winter
glare that causes unaccustomed eyes to tear and squint�察�and the air
felt clean and cold in my lungs。 I rode the entire way with the
window rolled down�察�listening to the ^Almost Famous ̄ soundtrack on
repeat。 I worked my damp hair into a ponytail with one hand to keep
it from flying in my eyes�察�and blew on my hands to keep them warm�察�
or at least warm enough to grip the steering wheel。 Only six months
out of college�察�and m