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And Harry had been drugged for thirteen hours； by now he was probably clinically dead； brain…dead。 There was no reason for Norman to stay。 There was nothing for him to do。
The sub was close now。 He could see the fittings on the yellow exterior。
〃Norman； please 。。。 I need you。〃
Sorry； he thought。 I'm getting out of here。
He moved around beneath the twin propellor screws； the name painted on the curved hull； Deepstar III。 He climbed the footholds； moving up into the dome。
〃Norman…〃
Now he was out of contact with the inter。 He was on his own。 He opened the hatch； climbed inside the submarine。 He unlocked his helmet； pulled it off。
〃Your attention； please。 Eighteen minutes and counting。〃 Norman sat in the pilot's padded seat； faced the controls。 The instruments blinked on； and the screen directly before him glowed。
DEEPSTAR III … MAND MODULE
Do you require help？
Yes No Cancel
＇＇342＇＇ He pressed 〃YES。〃 He waited for the next screen to flash up。
It was too bad about Harry and Beth； he was sorry to leave them behind。 But they had both； in their own ways； failed to explore their inner selves； thus making them vulnerable to the sphere and its power。 It was a classic scientific error； this so…called triumph of rational thought over irrational thought。 Scientists refused to acknowledge their irrational side； refused to see it as important。 They dealt only with the rational。 Everything made sense to a scientist； and if it didn't make sense； it was dismissed as what Einstein called the 〃merely personal。〃
The merely personal； he thought； in a burst of contempt。 People killed each other for reasons that were 〃merely personal。〃
DEEPSTAR III … CHECKLIST OPTIONS
Descend Ascend
Secure Shutdown
Monitor Cancel
Norman pressed 〃ASCEND。〃 The screen changed to the drawing of the instrument panel； with the flashing point。 He waited for the next instruction。
Yes； he thought； it was true： scientists refused to deal with the irrational。 But the irrational side didn't go away if you refused to deal with it。 Irrationality didn't atrophy with disuse。 On the contrary； left unattended； the irrational side of man had grown in power and scope。
And plaining about it didn't help； either。 All those scientists whining in the Sunday supplements about man's inherent destructiveness and his propensity for violence； throwing up their hands。 That wasn't dealing with the irrational side。 That was just a formal admission that they were giving up on it。
＇＇343＇＇ The screen changed again：
DEEPSTAR III … ASCEND CHECKLIST
1。 Set Ballast Blowers To： On
Proceed To Next Cancel
Norman pushed buttons on the panel； setting the ballast blowers； and waited for the next screen。
After all； how did scientists approach their own research？ The scientists all agreed： scientific research can't be stopped。 If we don't build the bomb； someone else will。 But then pretty soon the bomb was in the hands of new people； who said； If we don't use the bomb； someone else will。
At which point； the scientists said； those other people are terrible people； they're irrational and irresponsible。 We scientists are okay。 But those other people are a real problem。
Yet the truth was that responsibility began with each individual person； and the choices he made。 Each person had a choice。
Well； Norman thought； there was nothing he could do for Harry or Beth any longer。 He had to save himself。
He heard a deep hum as the generators turned on； and the throb of the propellors。 The screen flashed：
DEEPSTAR III … PILOT INSTRUMENTS ACTIVATED
Here we go； he thought； resting his hands confidently on the controls。 He felt the submarine respond beneath him。 〃Your attention； please。 Seventeen minutes and counting。〃 Muddy sediment churned up around the canopy as the screws engaged； and then the little submarine slipped out from beneath the dome。 It was just like driving a car； he thought。 There was nothing to it。
He turned in a slow arc； away from DH…7； toward DH…8。 He was twenty feet above the bottom； high enough for the screws to clear the mud。
There were seventeen minutes left。 At a maximum ascent rate of 6。6 feet per second…he did the mental calculation quickly； effortlessly…he would reach the surface in two and a half minutes。
There was plenty of time。
He moved the submarine close to DH…8。 The exterior ＇＇344＇＇ habitat floodlights were yellow and pale。 Power must be dropping。 He could see the damage to the cylinders…streams of bubbles rising from the weakened A and B Cylinders； the dents in the D； and the gaping hole in E Cyl； which was flooded。 The habitat was battered； and dying。
Why had he e so close？ He squinted at the portholes； then realized he was hoping to catch sight of Harry and Beth； one last time。 He wanted to see Harry； unconscious and unresponsive。 He wanted to see Beth standing at the window； shaking her fist at him in maniacal rage。 He wanted confirmation that he was right to leave them。
But he saw only the fading yellow light inside the habitat。 He was disappointed。
〃Norman。〃
〃Yes； Beth。〃 He felt fortable answering her now。 He had his hands on the controls of the submarine； ready to make his ascent。 There was nothing she could do to him now。 〃Norman； you really are a son of a bitch。〃
〃You tried to kill me； Beth。〃
〃I didn't want to kill you。 I had no choice； Norman。〃
〃Yeah； well。 Me； too。 I have no choice。〃 As he spoke； he knew he was right。 Better for one person to survive。 Better than nothing。
〃You're just going to leave us？〃
〃That's right； Beth。〃
His hand moved to the ascent…rate dial。 He set it to 6。6 feet。 Ready to ascend。
〃You're just going to run away？〃 He heard the contempt in her voice。
〃That's right； Beth。〃
〃You； the one who kept talking about how we had to stay together down here？〃
〃Sorry； Beth。〃
〃You must be very afraid； Norman。〃
〃I'm not afraid at all。〃 And indeed he felt strong and confident； setting the controls； preparing for his ascent。 He felt better than he had felt for days。
〃Norman；〃 she said。
〃Please help us。 Please。〃
Her words struck him at some deep level； arousing feelings ＇＇345＇＇ of caring； of professional petence； of simple human kindness。 For a moment he felt confusion； his strength and conviction weakened。 But then he got a grip on himself； and shook his head。 The strength flew back into his body。
〃Sorry； Beth。 It's too late for that。〃
And he pressed the 〃ASCEND〃 button； heard the roar as the ballast tanks blew； and Deepstar III swayed。 The habitat slipped away below him； and he started toward the surface； a thousand feet above。
Black water； no sense of movement except for the readings on the glowing green instrument panel。 He began to review the events in his mind； as if he were already facing a Navy inquiry。 Had he done the right thing； leaving the others behind？
Unquestionably； he had。 The sphere was an alien object which gave a person the power to manifest his thoughts。 Well and good； except that human beings had a split in their brains； a split in their mental processes。 It was almost as if men had two brains。 The conscious brain could be consciously controlled； and presented no problem。 But the unconscious brain； wild and abandoned； was dangerous and destructive when its impulses were manifested。
The trouble with people like Harry and Beth was that they were literally unbalanced。 Their conscious brains were overdeveloped； but they had never bothered to explore their unconscious。 That was the difference between Norman and them。 As a psychologist； Norman had some acquaintance with his unconscious。 It held no surprises for him。
That was why Harry and Beth had manifested monsters； but Norman had not。 Norman knew his unconscious。 No monsters awaited him。
No。 Wrong。
He was startled by the suddenness of the thought； the abruptness of it。 Was he really wrong？ He considered carefully； and decided once again that he was correct after all。 Beth and Harry were at risk from the products of their ＇＇346＇＇ unconscious； but Norman was not。 Norman knew himself； the others did not。
〃The fears unleashed by contact with a new life form are not understood。 The most likely consequence of contact is absolute terror。〃
The statements from his own report popped into his head。 Why should he think of them now？ It had been years since he had written his report。
〃Under circumstances of extreme terror； people make decisions poorly。〃
Yet Norman wasn't afraid。 Far from it。 He was confident and strong。 He had a plan； he was carrying it out。 Why should he even think of that report？ At the time； he'd agonized over it； thinking of each sentence。 。。。 Why was it ing to mind now？ It troubled him。
〃Your attention； please。 Sixteen minutes and counting。〃 Norman scanned the gauges before him。 He was at nine hundred feet； rising swiftly。 There was no turning back now。 Why should he even think of turning back？
Why should it enter his mind？
As he rose silently through black water； he increasingly felt a kind of split inside himself； an almost schizophrenic internal division。 Something was wrong； he sensed。 There was something he hadn't considered yet。
But what could he have overlooked？ Nothing； he decided； because； unlike Beth and Harry； I am fully conscious； I am aware of everything that is happening inside me。
Except Norman didn't really believe that。 plete awareness might be a philosophical goal； but it was not really attainable。 Consciousness was like a pebble that rippled the surface of the unconscious。 As consciousness widened； there was still more unconsciousness beyond。 There was always more； just beyond reach。 Even for a humanistic psychologist。
Stein； his old professor： 〃You always have your shadow。〃
What was Norman's shadow side doing now？ What was happening in the unconscious； denied parts of his own brain？ Nothing。 Keep going up。
He shifted uneasily in the pilot's chair。 He wanted to go to the surface so badly； he felt such conviction。 。。。
＇＇347＇＇ I hate Beth。 I hate Harry。 I hate worrying about these people； caring for them。 I don't want to care any more。 It's not my responsibility。 I want to save myself。 I hate them。 I hate them。
He was shocked。 Shocked by his own thoughts； the vehemence of them。
I must go back； he thought。 If I go back I will die。
But some other part of himself was growing stronger with each moment。 What Beth had said was true： Norman had been the one who kept saying that they had to stay together； to work together。 How could he abandon them now？ He couldn't。 It was against everything he believed in； everything that was important and human。
He had to go back。
I am afraid to go back。
At last； he thought。 There it is。 Fear so strong he had denied its existence； fear that had caused him to rationalize abandoning the others。
He pressed the controls； halting his ascent。 As he started back down； he saw that his hands were shaking。
0130 HOURS
The sub came to rest gently on the bottom beside the habitat。 Norman stepped into the submarine airlock； flooded the chamber。 Moments later； he climbed down the side and walked toward the habitat。 The Tevac explosives' cones with their blinking red lights looked oddly festive。
〃Your attention； please。 Fourteen minutes and counting。〃 He estimated the time he would need。 One minute to get inside。 Five； maybe six minutes to dress Beth and Harry in ＇＇348＇＇ the suits。 Another four minutes to reach the sub and get them aboard。 Two or three minutes to make the ascent。
It was going to be close。 He moved beneath the big support pylons； under the habitat。
〃So you came back； Norman；〃 Beth said； over the inter。
〃Yes； Beth。〃
〃Thank God；〃 she said。 She started to cry。 He was beneath A Cyl； hearing her sobs over the inter。 He found the hatch cover； spun the wheel to open it。 It was locked shut。
〃Beth； open the hatch。〃
She was crying over the inter。 She didn't answer him。
〃Beth； can you hear me？ Open the hatch。〃
Crying like a child； sobbing hysterically。 〃Norman；〃 she said。 〃Please help me。 Please。〃
〃I'm trying to help you； Beth。 Open the hatch。〃
〃I can't。〃
〃What do you mean； you can't？〃
〃It won't do any good。〃
〃Beth；〃 he said。 〃e on； now。。。 。〃
〃I can't do it； Norman。〃
〃Of course you can。 Open the hatch； Beth。〃
〃You shouldn't have e back； Norman。〃
There was no time for this now。 〃Beth； pull yourself together。 Open the hatch。〃
〃No； Norman； I can't。〃
And she began crying again。
He tried all the hatches； one after another。 B Cyl； locked。 C Cyl； locked。 D Cyl； locked。
〃Your attention； please。 Thirteen minutes and counting。〃 He was standing by E Cyl； which had been flooded in an earlier attack。 He saw the gaping； jagged tear in the outer cylinder surface。 The hole was large enough for him to climb through； but the edges were sharp； and if he tore his suit 。。。
＇＇349＇＇ No； he decided。 It was too risky。 He moved beneath E Cyl。 Was there a hatch？
He found a hatch； spun the wheel。 It opened easily。 He pushed the circular lid upward； heard it clang against the inner wall。
〃Norman？ Is that you？〃
He hauled himself up； into E Cyl。 He was panting from the exertion； on his hands and knees on the deck of E Cyl。 He shut the hatch and locked it again； then took a moment to get his breath。
〃Your attention； please。 Twelve minutes and counting。〃
Jesus； he thought。 Already？
Something white drifted past his faceplate； startling him。 He pulled back； realized it was a box of cor